ADDENDUM TO: "Thirteen Year Old Witch"

9/19/18

On this page I will be sharing the story of  my encounters in this lifetime in America in the 20th-21st centuries, with two of the people from my Other Life in Wales, which I entitled "Thirteen Year Old Witch." In one, my father from that Welsh life was my husband in this life--from 1967 to 1974. The other person was the doctor in that village in Wales and; in this lifetime, he was a neighbor and then lover when I lived in Freeport Maine.

So first my father/husband : I have already explained his role in the Welsh Other Life. But to recapitulate briefly, he was not protective of me. When the village doctor accused me, at age thirteen of being a witch, my father stood mute. He did not try to protect or defend or comfort me. He was very cowed by people who claimed authority.

I saw the same beliefs and traits in him in this lifetime. And even though we had two small children, he would often inconvenience and even endanger us in an effort to be accommodating to another person--usually a man. He would ignore us or apologize for us and then bend over backwards to be impressive and helpful to the stranger or other person.

I also noted in this lifetime, that both he and I had trouble feeling our feelings. I was probably a bit better at it than he was, but we both had the issue. Nonetheless, if I became emotional about something, he would become catatonic. He would literally shut down and go blank faced and slack jawed, with eyes slightly widened--just as I saw him in the first image from the lifetime in Wales.

Like many men who buy into the patriarchal paradigm, he also had a great deal of difficulty in being able to distinguish between his thoughts/beliefs and his emotions/feelings. When asked what he was feeling, he would often recount his ideas about something. This country needs basic education in identifying emotions. It should be taught in every school. Additionally, people should be taught how to wisely handle their emotions.

Recognition is #1. Then does it feel "off" or "on." Then they should be taught how to"allow" that emotion. That is--accept it as existing, without judgment or guilt. The next step is to use the consciousness to try on several alternative thoughts or beliefs that give rise to happier feelings.  Pick one idea that feels doable in terms of adoption--and then drop the old negative emotion arousing belief and take on the new feeling better emotions with as much commitment and consistency as possible. There are more subtleties to this process. But both my husband and I in this life needed education around this.

We also needed education in how to responsibly communicate our self generated emotions to the other--without making the other responsible for them. That would preclude resentment and blame and end-run any possible illnesses arising from long held resentment. Cancer is very closely linked to long held, self hidden resentment. The person is emotionally dishonest with self and others. They fear the emotion--part of the patriarchal paradigm--mistrust of emotions. An allowing everything process of examining emotions, beliefs and actions is the best way to move forward spiritually.

But we didn't do that in the Welsh life nor the American. My husband and I separated in 1973 and he told many lies about me in order to protect his ego and reputation. My second husband (one year marriage) did the same. I wonder if my Welsh father told lies too. He might have done, if he had been accused of being complicit in my "witchery." He would have almost certainly denounced me to the church court, the doctor and the village. In this life he denounced me to all of our friends and my family. To this day my children seem to believe him more than me.

My ex has many health problems now and looks a great deal older than I. My health is basically quite good, despite some very great spiritual challenges that have threatened my health. My saving grace is that I know that I have my  very powerful (effective)  Inner Being who is  ALWAYS within me. That keeps me healthy and steady.

In the PAST LIFE STORY # 7--"A European Queen"  I will tell the story of my Other Life with this soul who was my father in Wales and husband in my 20th  century life in America--the one I am living now.

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As to the doctor in my Other Life in Wales, in this lifetime, when I met him, he was a neighbor. He was doing free-lance computer program writing. His wife was just leaving him and their son who was the same age as my son. When she left he and I moved in together and were "lovers." He treated his son and his dog very cruelly and neglectfully. They both were suffering and becoming twisted. I did what I could to help, but I could see that my partner was in great pain too.

In order to try and help I offered to do a past life regression with him. He had some intuitive gifts and so we explored past lives together a bit.

One night he lay down on our bed and I sat beside him. I induced a trance in him and myself; I watched as the pictures from his mind unfurled in my own mind.

 I was looking down on a terrible battle, all was darkness, blood, screams and horror as men hacked away at each other with swords and hatchets. Before I said anything about what I had seen, my partner reported having been floating above a terrible medieval battle scene. I wonder if we were both in that battle, maybe attacking each other?

That was all we saw of that. We didn't explore it further, nor try to repattern it. He did not seem ready.

We only stayed together a short while longer--a few months. He was verbally and mentally cruel to me as well; he was highly intelligent and had a powerful will that he could use to dominate--usually through cynical laughter at the other person. He had a savage wit. He was clearly very messed up emotionally and between my own confusion and his we were a toxic mix.  I ended up trying to commit suicide while living with him. However, I didn't do it. It was odd how that fell out.

One night I was lying on the bed in a glassed in cupola on the top of the old Federalist house. I was weeping profusely and I had the tip of a huge knife pressed to my heart. I was looking for the courage to thrust it in, when suddenly the night sky lit up!

 Vast flashes of Northern lights were ripping across the sky from north to south. It was not at all like the gently shifting curtains of light most report seeing. This was like powerful energy-bursts exploding with light and pale colors. They fluctuated, flashed and shivered as they shot across the sky one after the other from north to south. It was awesome! And it totally distracted me from my self destructive intentions. The spectacle was rather frightening-- so intense and unusual was it.

Having a great belief in the super-natural, as it were, I took it personally-- as a sign--a warning not to continue with my suicidal intention. I stopped and when the celestial  show ended I simply fell asleep. My lover left soon after that--moved out. I stayed a while longer in that apartment, then was evicted because I had taken over the rent without landlord permission. At that point I moved myself and my two young children to Bath, Maine where I still live. The city rented us a very affordable little house of our own and the children settled into first a Hippie style free school, and then into public school a couple of years later. They both graduated from the Morse High School in Bath and went on to successful careers--my daughter an architect and my son an international pilot. They both married, bought homes, had children and are living happily ever after--give or take a couple of divorces.

I am still "poor" and  moving frequently, which has been hard, but my spirituality and growing awareness of my Oneness with my Inner Being makes everything different. It makes it all good and beautiful.

In Past Life Story #6--"Sidekick to Savonarola" I will share the Other Lifetime I led with this same soul. He was Savonarola and I was one of his two close friends--priests--who all shared an passionately religious life together and died together--burned at the stake in Florence, Italy.