9/9/2018
STORY #4--"The Cowardly Indian"
This recall came to me while in deep meditation; and like many of my recalls it was just a flash of an image. They come so quickly that one almost does not see it at the time it occurs. One "remembers it" a moment later. One must grab it quickly and paste it into the memory banks, for they are often as ephemeral as dreams and fade quickly. However, they are sometimes packed with encoded information about the life.
This particular one did not come with much other information, so I am having to do more fleshing out with this one than most of the others.
The image was this:
I am a native American on what is now the Continental United States, but it is a very long time ago. I look to be a true Stone Age person. In fact, in the flash-image I saw myself as a mostly naked, small, rather ugly man who is wearing only a dark loin cloth--probably made out of the skin of some animal. My dark hair is shaggy and hangs just below my ears. My skin is rather dark as well.
I am leaning against a large boulder, my arms spread out wide, my hands holding onto the stone, my legs spread wide too. I am looking fearfully back in the direction from which I just came--probably running. I seem to be fleeing pursuers who mean me harm. However, the feeling I get is that they are people of my own tribe. I get the sense that I had done something seriously wrong and had run away in order to escape the punishment that was generally meted out for such an act.
I get the sense that in the pecking order of my tribe I am low man on the totem pole. I habitually do not behave well and am not generally liked. And now I know that I cannot ever return to my tribe. However, the recall did not include exactly what my crime was, but I think that in general I was considered quite cowardly and I was generally held in contempt. My series of very poor choices over my lifetime thus far--perhaps to my early twenties--has earned me a very poor reputation.
To be shunned or banned from one's tribe back then meant almost certain death. It was very difficult to survive on one's own, and all I had ever known was group life. But now I was utterly alone, although apparently that was preferable to whatever punishment awaited me if I remained within the group.
___________________________________________
I did repattern this life. In that re-visioning of the life I did live and I found a woman who was also an outcast. We began to forge a life together. I treated her better than I had others before then. I also allowed her to rather worship me. She loved me very strongly and believed in me. I probably never told her my true history. But from then on I was a changed man. We had many children and grand children and we basically created our own tribe or clan. I was the patriarch and I managed to behave well enough to keep the respect of others. In the end, I could see myself lying with my wife, feeling very contented.
I gave myself courage in that repatterning. It would have taken a lot to rebuild a life after having been black balled by your own family. You would have to let go of resentments and stay focused on the good stuff that presented itself daily in the new life. I did that. And I try to remember that daily as I move through this life. Learn from the past, let go of it, stay focused on the best in the Now, and imagine an even brighter future. I am far from perfect in doing this these days, but I try to get back to it ASAP if I notice myself obsessing about something in the past.
Thus from this Indian lifetime I can see that I still have some of the issues active in my "vortex" as Abraham calls the circular collection of swirling energy that constitutes the overall energy of our thoughts and emotions. It contains all of our aspirations for the future. I can identify, guilt, manipulation, shame and fear as still being present. Cowardice? Not sure.
What is cowardice? It's certainly a type of fear--one usually disapproved of by ones compatriots. Lying is fear of the truth and might be called cowardly. I've done my share of that, but have aimed towards being more impeccable over this lifetime. I suspect that my Indian Self stole something and lied about it. I have, earlier in this lifetime had something of a struggle with taking other people's things or money.
I understand all of these things now as my Divine Self does--or I am approaching that. The first thirteen years of my life I encountered being stolen from...often. They were precious things--my bodily sanctity, my childhood, my connection with God...all was stolen from me by adults who had the same issues. I also had a small shoplifting habit as a young woman. People who feel ripped off often times feel compelled to "pass it on" and to rip off others. They also feel guilty over a lot of things they couldn't identify, and guilt can produce poverty, which has been a big issue for me this time. Free-floating, pandemic guilt is very hard to see, never mind deal with effectively. That combined with a feeling of powerlessness to get what one needs is a deadly cocktail.
So my intention with all of my past lives is to look for the major theme, and if it's negative--as in this one, then I imagine (while in trance) another, better sort of person that I actually could have been. Every moment is a choice point and I had made a bunch of "off" choices. I had "sinned"; I had missed the mark of alignment with my Inner Being; I had used my small mind, from which to fashion my choices, and they had led me down a road of telling lies and trying to trick people. I believed more in manipulation than I did in my personal power.
Personal power is the only real power that we have. If we are feeling powerless and perhaps misunderstood, as I did in this Indian lifetime, then it is my own low self esteem that has led me there. If I had been more in touch with my Inner Being from the first, I would have seen myself as God sees me--sees each of us--with pure unconditional love. God understands us completely and allows us everything we want--in essence if not literally. God allows us all the rope we want to either hang ourselves or to weave a magic carpet.
In this Indian Other Life image, I saw that I had guilt and fear written all over my face. I was judging myself severely and that was opening the door to being judged by others. No-one can be a target of judgment unless they have some doubt about themselves--their purity. AND WE ARE ALL PURE! (More on that later).
Young children who are not loved often have low self esteem. In my family of origin in this life, neither my brother nor I have any recollection as children of being told "I love you," or even being hugged...ever! I got straight A's in school and was dubbed, "the class artist" but none of my report cards, nor my art work ever was praised by my family... never mind posted on the refrigerator. Later on, when I was an adult, my mother--by then a widow--did often say "I love you" and gave hugs and praised my accomplishments. She showed love in many ways, but the die had been cast in my childhood. As an adult I can recall compulsively wanting to steal something from her house when I visited --even though she was very generous with me by then! I have a close friend with a similar childhood who reports the same phenomenon.
So just understanding does not seem to be enough. I am beginning to realize that it's going to take the Healing Magic of my Inner Being to transform these things. Our Inner Being heals by love, understanding, compassion and intelligence. It heals us by "Allowing Everything" and letting us know about consequences. There are consequences for every choice--good or bad. And the Law of Attraction sends consequences of matching vibration. In-alignment choices?--happy consequences. Out-of-alignment choices?--painful consequences.
Aiming for alignment with the positive thoughts and feelings of our Inner Being is all it takes to get the happy consequences. It's not that our Inner Beings expect us to be perfectly aligned with them in the state they exist in, just aiming and recommitting after slipping is good enough. Also, it behooves us to see ourselves as they do--perfect.!And if others don't see us that way, then they are "off." But it's our job, not to change them or to try and change their opinion of us, it's our job to connect ever more strongly with our Inner Being and the tremendous love they have for us. They literally CHERISH us--every single one of us no matter what we have done or not done. Seth II talks about this powerful emotion of cherishing that the denizens of his reality constantly feel for little ole us--out here on the leading edge of reality. Out here we are constantly making new psychological realities through our choices and actions. The latter concept is from Abraham/Hicks. Our Inner Beings know how to take our experiences and fashion them into spiritual gold.
From this lifetime I am learning about compassion for self and others; and I am learning about finding the courage and wisdom to be honest; I am learning to drop blame and to pick up responsibility for having created my own reality; and I am learning that it's never too late to have a good life!
STORY #4--"The Cowardly Indian"
This recall came to me while in deep meditation; and like many of my recalls it was just a flash of an image. They come so quickly that one almost does not see it at the time it occurs. One "remembers it" a moment later. One must grab it quickly and paste it into the memory banks, for they are often as ephemeral as dreams and fade quickly. However, they are sometimes packed with encoded information about the life.
This particular one did not come with much other information, so I am having to do more fleshing out with this one than most of the others.
The image was this:
I am a native American on what is now the Continental United States, but it is a very long time ago. I look to be a true Stone Age person. In fact, in the flash-image I saw myself as a mostly naked, small, rather ugly man who is wearing only a dark loin cloth--probably made out of the skin of some animal. My dark hair is shaggy and hangs just below my ears. My skin is rather dark as well.
I am leaning against a large boulder, my arms spread out wide, my hands holding onto the stone, my legs spread wide too. I am looking fearfully back in the direction from which I just came--probably running. I seem to be fleeing pursuers who mean me harm. However, the feeling I get is that they are people of my own tribe. I get the sense that I had done something seriously wrong and had run away in order to escape the punishment that was generally meted out for such an act.
I get the sense that in the pecking order of my tribe I am low man on the totem pole. I habitually do not behave well and am not generally liked. And now I know that I cannot ever return to my tribe. However, the recall did not include exactly what my crime was, but I think that in general I was considered quite cowardly and I was generally held in contempt. My series of very poor choices over my lifetime thus far--perhaps to my early twenties--has earned me a very poor reputation.
To be shunned or banned from one's tribe back then meant almost certain death. It was very difficult to survive on one's own, and all I had ever known was group life. But now I was utterly alone, although apparently that was preferable to whatever punishment awaited me if I remained within the group.
___________________________________________
I did repattern this life. In that re-visioning of the life I did live and I found a woman who was also an outcast. We began to forge a life together. I treated her better than I had others before then. I also allowed her to rather worship me. She loved me very strongly and believed in me. I probably never told her my true history. But from then on I was a changed man. We had many children and grand children and we basically created our own tribe or clan. I was the patriarch and I managed to behave well enough to keep the respect of others. In the end, I could see myself lying with my wife, feeling very contented.
I gave myself courage in that repatterning. It would have taken a lot to rebuild a life after having been black balled by your own family. You would have to let go of resentments and stay focused on the good stuff that presented itself daily in the new life. I did that. And I try to remember that daily as I move through this life. Learn from the past, let go of it, stay focused on the best in the Now, and imagine an even brighter future. I am far from perfect in doing this these days, but I try to get back to it ASAP if I notice myself obsessing about something in the past.
Thus from this Indian lifetime I can see that I still have some of the issues active in my "vortex" as Abraham calls the circular collection of swirling energy that constitutes the overall energy of our thoughts and emotions. It contains all of our aspirations for the future. I can identify, guilt, manipulation, shame and fear as still being present. Cowardice? Not sure.
What is cowardice? It's certainly a type of fear--one usually disapproved of by ones compatriots. Lying is fear of the truth and might be called cowardly. I've done my share of that, but have aimed towards being more impeccable over this lifetime. I suspect that my Indian Self stole something and lied about it. I have, earlier in this lifetime had something of a struggle with taking other people's things or money.
I understand all of these things now as my Divine Self does--or I am approaching that. The first thirteen years of my life I encountered being stolen from...often. They were precious things--my bodily sanctity, my childhood, my connection with God...all was stolen from me by adults who had the same issues. I also had a small shoplifting habit as a young woman. People who feel ripped off often times feel compelled to "pass it on" and to rip off others. They also feel guilty over a lot of things they couldn't identify, and guilt can produce poverty, which has been a big issue for me this time. Free-floating, pandemic guilt is very hard to see, never mind deal with effectively. That combined with a feeling of powerlessness to get what one needs is a deadly cocktail.
So my intention with all of my past lives is to look for the major theme, and if it's negative--as in this one, then I imagine (while in trance) another, better sort of person that I actually could have been. Every moment is a choice point and I had made a bunch of "off" choices. I had "sinned"; I had missed the mark of alignment with my Inner Being; I had used my small mind, from which to fashion my choices, and they had led me down a road of telling lies and trying to trick people. I believed more in manipulation than I did in my personal power.
Personal power is the only real power that we have. If we are feeling powerless and perhaps misunderstood, as I did in this Indian lifetime, then it is my own low self esteem that has led me there. If I had been more in touch with my Inner Being from the first, I would have seen myself as God sees me--sees each of us--with pure unconditional love. God understands us completely and allows us everything we want--in essence if not literally. God allows us all the rope we want to either hang ourselves or to weave a magic carpet.
In this Indian Other Life image, I saw that I had guilt and fear written all over my face. I was judging myself severely and that was opening the door to being judged by others. No-one can be a target of judgment unless they have some doubt about themselves--their purity. AND WE ARE ALL PURE! (More on that later).
Young children who are not loved often have low self esteem. In my family of origin in this life, neither my brother nor I have any recollection as children of being told "I love you," or even being hugged...ever! I got straight A's in school and was dubbed, "the class artist" but none of my report cards, nor my art work ever was praised by my family... never mind posted on the refrigerator. Later on, when I was an adult, my mother--by then a widow--did often say "I love you" and gave hugs and praised my accomplishments. She showed love in many ways, but the die had been cast in my childhood. As an adult I can recall compulsively wanting to steal something from her house when I visited --even though she was very generous with me by then! I have a close friend with a similar childhood who reports the same phenomenon.
So just understanding does not seem to be enough. I am beginning to realize that it's going to take the Healing Magic of my Inner Being to transform these things. Our Inner Being heals by love, understanding, compassion and intelligence. It heals us by "Allowing Everything" and letting us know about consequences. There are consequences for every choice--good or bad. And the Law of Attraction sends consequences of matching vibration. In-alignment choices?--happy consequences. Out-of-alignment choices?--painful consequences.
Aiming for alignment with the positive thoughts and feelings of our Inner Being is all it takes to get the happy consequences. It's not that our Inner Beings expect us to be perfectly aligned with them in the state they exist in, just aiming and recommitting after slipping is good enough. Also, it behooves us to see ourselves as they do--perfect.!And if others don't see us that way, then they are "off." But it's our job, not to change them or to try and change their opinion of us, it's our job to connect ever more strongly with our Inner Being and the tremendous love they have for us. They literally CHERISH us--every single one of us no matter what we have done or not done. Seth II talks about this powerful emotion of cherishing that the denizens of his reality constantly feel for little ole us--out here on the leading edge of reality. Out here we are constantly making new psychological realities through our choices and actions. The latter concept is from Abraham/Hicks. Our Inner Beings know how to take our experiences and fashion them into spiritual gold.
From this lifetime I am learning about compassion for self and others; and I am learning about finding the courage and wisdom to be honest; I am learning to drop blame and to pick up responsibility for having created my own reality; and I am learning that it's never too late to have a good life!
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